The Practice of Control

As I sit here writing this month’s entry, I’m in the studio holding space for a workshop for Pilates instructors.

This was part of the dream when I opened my own studio. I wanted to create a space where I could bring more education to instructors and give them opportunities to deepen their Pilates practice and their teaching.

The women teaching today’s workshop have more than 50 years of combined experience. They are Pilates Master Instructors who I met while seeking out continuing education for myself a few years ago. Their workshops and instruction genuinely changed the way I think about, practice, and teach movement.

So when I reached out and asked if they would come teach a workshop here and they said yes, I was thrilled beyond belief to bring this level of expertise into my space.

And, naturally, I’ve thought about it for months.

How can I make this really special for them so they want to come back? How can I make it special for the instructors attending so they know they have a space here to learn, practice, connect, and come back to for support?

I called in The Bagel Mill to cater and keep everyone fueled. I got Morgan and Maddie in here to help set up and tear down. It’s been a whole thing because I care, and I want it to feel special. And if you know me by now, you know I don’t do anything halfway.

This works for me and against me all the time.

It works for me when I get to create experiences, spaces, and instruction that feel thoughtful and intentional. It works against me when something happens that is completely out of my control.

I tend to get really anxious at the thought of disappointing people. (That one is obviously deep-seated.) If something isn’t going perfectly, I immediately worry that I’ve let someone down. I get frustrated. I get nervous. Sometimes it requires my husband talking me down and reminding me that everything is actually okay.

Which brings me to today.

I am sitting in this incredible training workshop, literally watching a piece of my dream come to life…

and absolutely losing my mind over the loudest polka band I have ever heard in my life.

It’s Oktoberfest at Brewsters. It’s also the Antique Faire. Downtown Petaluma is POPPING today.

And I love it.

And I hate it.

Logically, I know I can’t have all the things. I can’t choose a prime location in the middle of downtown, surrounded by all the action (which is exactly where you want to be as a small business owner), and then expect it to be dead quiet whenever I need it to be.

I just can’t have it all.

And maybe that’s life reminding me, over and over again, how little control I actually have. The illusion of control.

It also reminds me to come back to the things I do have control over.

The delicious bagels. The space I created. The way I welcomed people into it. Connecting instructors with incredible teachers. Creating an opportunity for people to learn.

I do not have control over the polka band directly outside my window. (Who, by the way, are having an absolute blast. Their cover songs are a riot.) Is it the vibe I envisioned for this workshop? Absolutely not.

During the debacle, I started texting my husband videos.

Me: “Is this terrible or am I being dramatic?”

Will: “I mean, it’s pretty insane. It’s also totally out of your control. If you can laugh it off, you should try to do so. It’s so bad, get more videos because this is going to be hilarious to you later. Also, the Franchise is rooting for you.”

The Franchise is the group of buddies my husband has who are quite possibly some of my favorite humans ever.

He follows that text with a screenshot of a meme they made, which truly made me laugh. And if you get the reference, bonus points.

Me: “Haha omg did you tell them?”

Will: “Had to.”

Me: “So this IS nuts?! Great!”

Will: “I don’t want to be insensitive, but I’ve been crying laughing since the first video. It’s such an absurd situation.”

And he’s right.

It really is.

He reminded me to laugh. To let it go. To remember what actually is in my control.

Is the crazy polka music in my control? Nope.

Is my response to it?

Absolutely.

And the irony of all of this is that control is one of the core foundations of Pilates.

Joseph Pilates originally called his method Contrology, built around the idea that the mind consciously guides the body through movement. We don’t throw ourselves through exercises. We don’t rely on momentum. We move intentionally.

Control creates the mind-body connection. It helps us move with better alignment and coordination. It allows us to prioritize quality over quantity and teaches our muscles to work together efficiently.

So you see, I love control.

I really do.

I teach it to you all day long. I practice it through movement. And if I’m being self-aware, it probably gives me a sense of safety in my life, too.

But maybe the lesson I keep having to learn is the difference between what I can control and what I can’t.

My response.
My reaction.
My movement practice.
How I show up for people.
The space I create.

Those are mine.

The polka band outside?

Not mine.

So today, I’m choosing to laugh. I’m choosing to look around this room at something I dreamed about years ago and realize that it’s actually happening. Maybe it doesn’t look or sound exactly the way I pictured it, but it’s happening.

And that’s pretty incredible.

I hope September was good to you. I hope it was full of a few lessons of its own, like the one I’m learning today. And I hope October brings us even more.

Because we are never done learning.

All my love,
Jess

Understand the reference?

Bonus points if you do!